Troll 2 ’90

This might be double header, maybe theres similarities.
Ill get through as much as possible. Also I got homework but running schedule, and now its time for my insightful remarks on a movie from the 90’s.
Im late to both parties, this movie and the rental reviews but ive seen clips. Now its time.
Mgm bad movies yes. Its elf walking through the woods when he sees actual ‘trolls?” Theres a narrator.
The trolls are little wrinkly faces with robes and sticks. In one shot it looks exactly like the character from the David Bowie Labyrinth movie. Ok Narrator is grandpa. Little forest creatures.Eight of em.
Troll 2. Its got that willow fantasy goblin vibe already. That rad 90’s music. Nice heavby awkward synth. THe creatures are pretty cool though. Some gross teeth and noses. Little playful creatures though so how bad could they be. Sounds like some playstation music maybe, pre-playstation. Elf bonked his head. Hes running forward but falls on his head and the music quiets down. The grandpa hears goblins? and draws a big smile. BAck at fantasy world a new lady character with painted on freckles he force feeding elf a bowl of goop. Elf is Peter. Bunch of face shots. Face face/face. Obviously the goop is poison. Of course peter dressed up like elf has green goop dripping from his brain hes like euargh.. Sweatinng chlorophyll green. Sweet science quota complete. So poor Peter turns into half-man half-plant. Goblins favorite food. Whats the difference between the troll and the goblin. Anyways Peter gets eaten by goblins. Its a shock to the main audience boy. Then all of a sudden the boys ‘mom’ ? Turns on the light and directly say why are you still up. Hey lady id be sleeping if ya didnt turn on the lights. Thats silly. For whatever reason looks way more retro then 90’s maybe its just me. Nice and grandpa doesnt actually exist.. Boy = Josh. But the chair is still moving. As if a ghost got up outta the rocking chair in haste dissipated in the ligth. Of course creepy mom is disappointed in the boy. Like boy you got mental problems. Grandpas been gone for 6 months. Thats enough kid i dont wanna hear it Im here for the carnage lol. That wilson ball lamp is pretty cool. The joker poster, bugs bunny. Everykid had blankets like that I remember more star wars though. I remember being a kid in 90s.
Nice ok this is great teen older sister maybe. Shes chewing bubble gum and bench-pressing listening to walkman cringe synth music. The creepy bath robbed mom just walks in and admires her so proud. She shakes her head in approval smiling. Thats super cheese. When I pause the film to form a sentence in my mind i get to see all the scenes little nuances I catch. Its pretty funny obvisouly not the complete way its meant to be watched but I like to see the sets and the details. The duffel bag and luggage. The phone in a central location in the house. This guy they say theyll be gone about a month. She reaches out to strangle him, oh just a caress. Now that hairstyle seems really old fashioned. Nice more imaginary friend. Moms like Im concerned about Josh hes still seeing grandpa. Anyways those goblins will show this family im sure. A trip to the goblins. They’re at the window. Ew the Cubs. Nice some random kid got his face stuck in the screen screaming at the window. Lol its some kids with a ladder bullying the kid when hes trying to sleep talk about harassment. Or no its the gum chewing weightlifting girl hes after. Prowling and break and enter in the name of teen crush. The girl straight up looks at the camera lol. This is straight cheese lines. nice 4 guys crawling up the ladder to some girls room, asking her to go for pizza. Highschool clic. Theyre trying to lose virginity and going on some family exchange families exchange houses. Obviously at the bog town with the goblins. If the gang coems along shes gonna be pissed. Thats her boyfriend then jumping through the window and reciting lines like shakespeare. Its good in how bad it is and now im anticipating some hilarity. Eliot. Eliot never shows up and shes crying is the next scene. Eliot is a good for nothing lol. The dad just isnt having it hes like:” hed rather be with his friends than you!” The mom is no better shes like stop it were having a family holiday. The kid is like nah im not singing. but he sings lol. Happy family. Nice some highway driving scenes from the 90;s heres a ford van. Rv. Sop Obviously the bf and the gang came along they brought their own RV. Theyre drinking moutain dew and coke. Back to the happy family van. Josh is sweating profusely. All of a sudden hes like im sick sweating chlorophyll stop the car. His creepy parents dont care. Now hes turning into a half man half plant branch fingers. joshs family members all have a creepy horror close up saying some silly things like a bad-dream. The goblins driving. But something about that face on the right thats creepy lol. Anyways hes dreaming and cant figure it out. They drive right past the old grandpas hes holding a sign that says stop them. Josh says stop the car again. Parents are like whats wrong ? Do you have to throw up ? Josh is like yes thats what i need to do. Grandpa ios like you have to stop em you have to turn around this is a bad place it even gives me the creeps. So far hes maybe the most convincing actor, the kid is ok too. Im not here to bash the movie and I dont read the reviews before writing this. However Ive already been exposed to some synopsis that this is a B movie. Its obvious has reputation after being around 30 years some perceptions have remained. Now grandpa turned into a bum hes liek yeah you gonna give me a ride or whut. she middle fingers the gang from 3km away and tinted reflective glass. Then the glasses kid hes Like I dont think this is sucha good idea coming up here guys. I remember the goblin can change into whatever person they want. Lol that bum scene. What are you doing Josh. Its funny cause I remember the exact same van. Just as they leave 10 farmer-types are come out from hiding. Thats probably how its like when I come visit the farm. Theres some mountains not sure where this film was shot but so far a good portion on the highways. Maybe like a swampy interior BC. Any guess on a particular state would be speculation but a farming state with some fairly big hills. Creepy family meet, the other creepy family. No expression on their faces. Hello no hand shake your late. What a jerk. Blames it on the kid. They all have a scar mark so theyre obviously troll family. 2/9 Josh shakes his head in disapproval. I like the conflict everyone thinks hes crazy but hes the onlyu legit one. HAs to repeat these silly phrases for what the doctor said. The baseball i thought it was a snowball. Eat before we eat you. Eat the poison goop so you can turn into a tree person, is what theyre saying. They enter the bland farm house. Theres a dinner made for em witrh green toppings. Theres an old man at the door looks just like granpa hes knocking at the door. Puzzled look. The grandpa hes like dont let them eat. Gonna have to think of something quick to save his fam. The freeze frame lol., thats just the funnies thing. dying here. Josh cant figure it out. So what he pisses all on the food. His dads like im the best starver. Creepy little goblin artwork all over the cabin. Nice what movie is that this gonna be a triple header now. The monkey sits on a rocket and shoots in the air. Having the RV aint bad just pull over wherever and watch a movie. Buddy with the glasses hes sick of watching movies in the RV he wants single girls. Lets smoke cigarettes Arnold. Nice 90s chase music. Its definitely a troll impersonator. Or escapimng the trolls. Nice he actually sees them. Close encounter. Here the one with that face again. So arnold walks right up and lectures the critters in a funny scene. Those spear look like they could be a minor nuisance. The eye face one is my favorite hes got this googley eyed stunned look thats priceless. Nice he gets speared. Instead of fighting back he screams. hey did you hear that, naw bruh was drinking this mountain dew. They laugh it off. Well 2 people fleeing the goblins. Male and Female,. Shes much taller than him. Ok the house looks awesome theres smoke and fantasy items. A red bed and smog. Ok the owner of the house is laugh out loud hysterical. TYhat is one wild get-up overacting but I appreciate it. This is actuary a character im blown away. Black teeth from stonehenge. No hospital in nilbog drink these smokey both glasses. So they do. instantly start choking. Those eye, she falls all the way up the stairs sweating chlorophyll. Ok followed by the worse change scene ive ever scene im dying. flail your arms and sink into the floor as the goblins come to eat their favorite food. and then theyre gonna eat me. lol. Joshua in room. Forget her name the crying daughter shes having a vogue dance-off its embarrassingly hilarious. yea turn that crap off. That garfield pyjama shirt lol Grandpa appears. Crying out for Joshua Joshua! Now the daughter is getting warned about the trolls. Who know what happened to arnold hopefully he survives. THe hunger strike dad is gonna be pissed. Shout out to that GI Joe shirt. They switch rooms the lights flicker. Lol grandpa admits hes gotta learn the layout of the house. Thats cheesy but its kinda funny. Its te kingdom of the goblins. So behind enemy lines. Use the Force Josh. Ill be back. Damn theres no mountain dew. Ok so its the opposite of the typical slasher now all of arnolds friends are the victims not just these helpless girls. Its still horendous but its good. Its all tapioca milk.
Switching to the next victim from arnolds party. hes running tryin to get groceries in Nilbog area. Heres a police officer just pulls the kid over. Obviously cause hes running. Ok so is the troll impersonating police officer. Im Sheriff Gene Freak. Nice name Sheriff freak. Voice sounds familiar maybe a bit scripted. So if the sheriff introduces himself by name does it mean he cant be a troll. Oh but hes got the green playdough food. TRhis particular victim has the bandana Tupac style riding in the front seat of a car getting fed the chlorophyll paste. He eats a green paste sandwhich. People in Nilbog are hospitable to strangers. Cause they eat them . Mirror grandpa is right. Heres the general store. Its very deliverance esque. Kid asks eh sheriff where the girls go to at night and he just laughs. Thats like asking a cop wheres all the bad girls. Bunch of pissed off looking farmer types gawking at the bandana kid. Inside the general store all there is, is nilbog milk and im sorry to say, crazy looking salesperson ranting about coffee beings the devils drink. Hes sweating the chlorophyll a certain sign of upcoming plant transformation. Gatorade. eggs are ugh. Theyre getting ready to eat him. Skin patch again and a bunch of staring strangers. One of em grabds his hes like Hey you, message from you friend meet him in the old church. Ya ok. Go through woods only about a mile away. This is where the crazy black teeth lady has turned people into plants. Here have this piece of bread with green frosting. lol Arnold has become a plant faced monstrosity. Just chilling on main street with my skateboard. Nilbog backwards is goblin. The dad has fallen asleep in about 10 seconds or less. Theres a big M in the background id be curious to find out what that is. Ew hes gonna dring the goblin milk. Creedence just walks in the rental house. Scaring the actual mom maybe theyre gonna brawl now. Appetizing. Heres this cake. Horrendous face closeups so funny.
Heres a barn. This film could be filmed on a farm. Some nice scenic feature though. In the barn is a creepy sermon. Josh is spying on them. Neon skateboard is a important prop. The reverend is liek a wrestler and vegetarianism is the motive. Reverend says gross shit and they all go eurghh. Daughter punches out Eliot at a confrontation at the RV. Back at the barnhouse sermon the sheriff and reverand got Josh gripped. Ew nilbog icecream lol. thats nasty. The funny eye one is doing the feeding. Resist that food josh. His dad runs in. They quietly walk out the blood splattered house. The reverend announced they need more time still for whatever reason. Now the dad comes to bust up the teen party. Buddy just give him the camper. Arnold and bandana meet up. Bandana aint gonna make it. HEs so dizzy drinking chlorophyll. Is that you. Arnold turned into a plant getting dragged out thats funny and nasty. Heres Creedence smacks him into the bed. Creedence pulls out a chainsaw lol. Thats hysterical. ITs even funnier he laughs as hes being choppped and that that woodpecker sound. Long beyond salvageable but i cant wait to see what happens next. Same house all the vehicles. Its a cringe party with the reverand. That mom talks with her chin out all ridiculous. The most sinister reverand and the toxic food. Ok wasnt expecting this: Joshua is praying for his grandpa, bnut who appears some hideous monster face aooears. Then a goblin jumps through the mirror. Who was that. Grandpa is coming abck to life to kill goblins now takes an axe and chops one of their hands right off, not really sure whats going on but he got one of those Stonehenge witches screaming now. Love that screaming acting. Shes singeing her arm and somehow grows back behind the wall. That mouth you just wanna make out with for days lol. Next is a home alone style destroy the house plan with a molotov and a fire extinguisher saftery first. That clapping party thats cringe. The reveren is super cringe hhe points and twists the old man from yards away. He snaps he fingers and lights the molotov the reverend is burning to a crisp. All thats left is a gross goblin. So now they all know. One of us. Now the whole village has turned on em. Its hard to know the real lore of this crazy plot. The magic stone creates sunset and bad weather. She actually cries out magic rock. Ooh chemistry bubble. Ok now her face scab makeup is removed and you can see the real creedence? tese headlight and window scenes. Here eat these sandwiches. The mom is the overacting chin out shrieking hyperventilating. This time to make grandpa appear theyre gonna have a sceance. Ok last remaining RV victim hes watching the other movie here inside the RV I think thats next but I dont know they title. The static interrupts the film. Now some porno music comes on and it shows the new rejuvenated stonehenge lady. Of course shes carrying the cake just like everyone else. Some cheezy sultry porno music as she makes her approach to the RV. Shes holding a corn on the cob lol. The corn on the cob is the gift. Its not cake. What kind of show is this. Im outside. Preying on teen boys sexual fantasies to make em eat the green sludge the favorite food for goblins. Crazy eyes,something like id describe a goth version of gene simmons woman. Eat the corn. Lol. Popcorn scene is super silly. wow. Now were at a seance concentrate creepy farm folks outside the house and the cop with a shotgun blasting the air. Nice when the candles start blowing out and the wind hows thats when grandpa appears. The dad, hes like thats not scientifically possible. I only have 10 minutes. Now gotta concentrate. Awesome ok finally the scene ive been waiting for the dad is fighting off the goblins. Some hilarious chase music. Goblins be tumbling all over the place. Josh warps to the witch house. Hes gotta smash that witches power or something. Josh finds himself at the church building they showed a good outside view surely the inside is a bit different. Im wondering now if the boyfriend gonna get it. Lol these goblins surrounding the family is all a little ridiculous. Grandpa shows up and start punching em out left and right. You can only take out the contents when u neeed it. I wonder what it is. You only have to touch it to gain the stonehenge power. Uh oh time to meet your make the family has been surrounded by the mosnters and their spears. Including the googley eyed one. The bf decides he wqants to try to bargain with these people. Ok rigth away I recognize the witch in the mirror they used the shame shot for the weird mirror scene. That actress sure is good at screaming and making that wretched face. Thats sad, so grandp leaves. Nice face with the lips. Shes lost some of her power. Heres comes the goop. You dont want the same fate as peter quick open the bag. hes got a double decker baloney sandwich that kills the goblins awesome. They all shriek away. Hand in the cookie jar. Oh man. Hands on the stone concentrate cause only the power of good can defeat the monsters.Ok so lighting is literally striking these beasts down in convulsions and lightnight strikes and steam hisses. yeah that actress defeintly is the bets shrieking screamer ive ever seen. Well back at the house lets eat a whole bowl of apples. Nice batman and batcar poster, superman. Darryl strawberry. Obviosuly the kid misses his grandpa doesnt know how to thank him.. Mom ate the apple something gonna go down… ew goop slaughter in the washroom. and the kitchen theyre ask back. Do you want some Joshua. Best line. lol
Wow so I watched most of Grunt! ’83 It was Italian dubbed German lol. Just the craziest movie I ever seen really slap stick like asterix obelix fantasy with cavemen and theres an egg that makes sparks. Monkey suit, it was novelty to watch I gotta say.Oh yea from the cinnmassacre reviews, James showed another film from this pack it was: They encountered the angel from something movies intro title screen, they literally chopped the splash screen into the film. Otherwise it was crazy and incoherent. Had fun with that. I gotta get to some homework. I like when he shows a bunch of movies, really ive learnt to go thru with the content for the better. The less opinion the better sometimes.
Watched the ‘Mortal Kombat Legends Scorpions Revenge’ wow that was extra gory.Not sure to write a whole page about it. But shows scorpion and scorpions fam. All the x-ray attacks. I mean with title MK you know theres gonna be some blood at least. Anyways this was all anime, it was neat to see something new a fresh take on it. Heads be rolling, and brain pieces be either exposed, or flying all over the place.

Author: clayton

Clayton L. CD 85